letter from R to his dad
Nov 7 2007
Dear Papà and big sister mainly and to all those who will read these lines.
I write to you from a cell of isolation damp and cold, there are
peepholes in every angle from where the agents can watch even while
you do tend your needs in the toilet. The bed is made of industrial
sponge, the television cannot be used, the bath is so dirty and I am
requesting that they come and clean it. Today I had an extra blanket
and therefore, at least when I sleep, I stay warm. Outside from the
window there is a reinforced concrete ravine and beyond a clearing
enormous completely empty there is an armed guard atop the sight
tower. Amidst this sad and depressing total panorama, on the horizon
one can see a small mountain house. Fine, that far small house midway
on the plain wrests me a timid smile of hope.
I do not know if it is right that I must pay such for not being able
to focus the moments in the time during 1° the November, but after
this experience, believe me, I will never touch the pipe again in my
life. While I write to you there is a pair Moroccans (presumably) that
they speak a incomprehensible language and they knock on the wall of
my cell. They continue to complain also because they need a dose of
heroin. I do not want to respond, I don't keep us.
I do not know if it is right that I must pay such for not being able
to focus the moments in the time during 1° the November, but after
this experience, believe me, I will never touch the pipe again in my
life. While I write to you there is a pair Moroccans (presumably) that
they speak an incomprehensible language and they knock on the wall of
my cell. They continue to complain also because they need a dose of
heroin. I do not want to respond, I don't keep us.
In police headquarters they tortured to me psychologically, put to me
in shackles and made me strip in front of the scientific, I was even
barefoot. I'm not even able to offer guilt, given my deep fu**ing
stupidity for the fact that I smoke cannabis I even forget what I have
eaten and also for that I carry behind a knife to nock the tables and
the trees and I carry it so often that I brought it also to the police
headquarters. I write to you the reconstruction of the facts. We leave
from 31 October, day in which I went to the graduation of Francisco
(...) and stayed at Paolo's house (...) and subsequently I met with
Amanda. I passed the day with her having supper and then she went
downtown with her face painted like a cat. I went out subsequently
painting my face making an abstract figure. I took a stroll downtown
and after I met again with Amanda. From there we returned home right
away and we passed the night watching a film.
In the morning we rose around 10:00-11:00 and I wanted to sleep again,
therefore Amanda went to her house saying that she would wait for to
me to lunch. I caught up with her around 14:00 and Meredith was also
there, that poor girl, she said that she had already eaten. So I
prepared the lunch for us both, she so setting herself to play the
guitar meanwhile Meredith was preparing to go out.
The cute thing that I remember is that Meredith wore a pair of jeans
from man that were her ex-boyfriend's in England. She left hastily
near 16:00 not saying where she was going. Meanwhile Amanda and I
remained there until 18:00 approximately and began to smoke cannabis.
From this moment come my problems, because I have confused memories.
For the first thing Amanda and I had gone downtown from Piazza Grimana
to Corso Vannucci passing behind the university for exchange students
and ending up in Piazza Morlacchi (we always take that road), then I
don't remember but presumably we had to go grocery shopping. We
returned to my house around to the 20:00-20:30 and there I made
another pipe and saw that as it was a holiday, to take myself with
extreme tranquility, without the smallest intention to go out inasmuch
as outside it was cold.
I don't remember in reality at what time I ate, but certainly I ate
and Amanda ate with me. The questions the agents of the Squadra Mobile
me have made me to remember that that day the water pipe under to sink
was detached and thing I find very suspicious, I've seen that it is
not possible to so detach alone, at any rate, the fact is that it
flooded half the house.
I remember that I surfed the Internet for a bit, maybe I watched a
film and then that you had called me at the house or that anyhow you
sent me a goodnight message. I remember that was Thursday, therefore
Amanda had to go to the pub where she usually works, but I don't
remember how much time she was absent and remember that subsequently
she had said to me that the pub was closed (I have strong doubts
regarding the fact that she was absent). I am straining myself to
remember other details but they are all confused. Another thing of
which I can be sure is that Amanda slept with me that night.
The morning Amanda woke up before me and I did not make to raise
myself, therefore I remained to sleep while she went to shower at her
house. I don't remember if I had breakfast before or after Amanda
returned to my house. I don't remember how she was dressed day 1, but
I'm sure that she had changed and had put on the white skirt and her
usual black hiking shoes. She was cleaned up and had brought me a mop
in order to help me to dry the floor around the sink. The evening
before I had put only rags on the floor and they were not enough.
After that I cleaned up the floor and perhaps I made breakfast around
11:30-12:00 I changed clothes and we went out. She meanwhile had
spoken to me about the fact that she had found something strange at
her house. That is that she had found the front door opened, feces in
the bathroom of the Italian girls and blood in their bathroom. While
we came down from Corso Garibaldi she expressively demanded that I go
to see in her house what had happened. The investigators have asked me
if she had said to report something but (unfortunately I now say) it's
not like that: all of which I have said I have made of my spontaneous
will.
As soon as we arrived in the house I put aside the mop in the entrance
and I directed myself towards the other rooms in order to see what the
devil had happened. Those moments I remember well because I was shaken
and alarmed. I seem to have seen that Amanda had taken the mop bucket
and it carried it in to another room (from the text not shown, but
evidently the mop had been brought back to house of Meredith and
Amanda). The first thing I noticed was that the room of Filomena
(called Molli) had the door wide open. Ah, I forgot, Amanda had opened
the house with the keys (that I have repeatedly asked myself inasmuch
as she had said to me that she had found the entrance door wide open
when she entered before). We saw that Filomena's bedroom was in
completely disorder: broken glass on the floor and the room upside
down, it was an absurd mess. The window was broken on the left side
and was open. Going forward, I noticed that Meredith's room was closed
and locked and that in the bathroom there were stains of blood on the
sink and the floormat and the rest of the bathroom was clean. The
stains on the mat were diluted by water. Turning around I thought to
access Meredith's room by window and tried to find where, after I
discovered that the only access to the window was unthinkable heights,
and therefore I had to rethink. Meanwhile Amanda was trying to enter
the window bypassing the railing and I stopped, since her climbing
wanting to try to do something that according to me is absurd. She
then tried to knock on the door repeatedly shouting Meredith's name
(the door of the room, of course) because she thought that Meredith
was sleeping.
Meanwhile loitering at the house and counseling Amanda to call friends
Filomena, Laura, Meredith. And so, after that she did, she told me
that Laura was in Viterbo, Filomena was with her boyfriend and would
come later and finally Meredith did not respond. We took a turn around
the house and Amanda is terrified and jumps on me because she tells me
that in the toilet there was no more **** because presumably before,
when she was taking a shower, had seen in the bathroom there was a
**** and nobody had pulled the water. I face and look within the
reflection in the water and not see the **** give for good what Amanda
said to me.
In the end I think that the only thing to do is kick in the door of
Meredith's room. We try, but I don't succeed, then I call the cell of
my sister and she tells me to call 112. I call and leave the name of
Amanda as the address and try to explain briefly the situation. They
say that I would have to call again. We pause to wait outside and
suddenly there are two types who tell us to be the postal police
seeking Filomena, as they had found two mobile phones and a number
belonged to Filomena. For Amanda comes to mind that these phones were
Meredith's and I ask the police to break the door.
Initially, the police refused to violate privacy, but after Filomena
arrived, her boyfriend and their respective friends, he was convinced
to break in the door. While they were looking at what was inside they
began to shout: «Oh God A foot! Blood!». And they ran terrified. At
which point I moved away and took Amanda and brought her away. We
stopped outside from there and the mess.
Initially, the police refused to violate privacy, but after Filomena
arrived, her boyfriend and their respective friends, he was convinced
to break in the door. While they were looking at what was inside they
began to shout: «Oh God A foot! Blood!». And they ran terrified. At
which point I moved away and took Amanda and brought her away. We
stopped outside from there and the mess.
Today the court questioned me and said that I gave three different
statements, but the only difference that I find is that I said that
Amanda brought me to say crap in the second version, and that was to
go out at the bar where she worked, Le Chic. But I do not remember
exactly whether she went out or less to go to the pub and as a
consequence I do not remember how long she was absent. What is all my
difficulty? I do not remember this, for them, important detail,
therefore I don't break and we're investigating her. I tried to help
in the investigation trying to remember and now I've brought myself to
this place, better I did nothing and limit myself to say that I
remained at my house and I would be spared so much unrest. We speak of
something other that is better ...
Perhaps tomorrow we will see, at least so said Tiziano (Germans,
lawyers, ndr), who I saw today and has defended me in front of the
judge. At least I am glad for that. Today I have had removed the total
censorship, and I can watch TV ... At least time passes because I can
do practically nothing. But, apart from the usual cartoons, I am
bored. At this moment I think of Vanessa (his sister, ndr), I would
like to read you this letter. I am very sorry for all this mess and to
have involved you indirectly for your position (sub carabinieri,
editor's note): I can not imagine what is going on now. I am so sorry,
Vane, I did not want you to find yourself in this situation, I pray
you forgive me. I want so much good for you. Now I can say that I
understand what it means to take a walk in hell and I pray to God that
nothing more happens to me, on the contrary I hope for the good heart
of the court. Those of the squadra mobile, that god would strike with
lightning! ... No joke, but it is difficult to be sympathetic after
all that I went through. They want to paint me as the genius of
computer crime ... But, ah ah ah, a certain genius that you find in
the police station with the shoes with which he committed the crime
and with the knife with which he cut the throat of the victim in his
pocket ... A genius! Not to say a true Einstein! (Raffaele curses
against police). And should I strain to help them? Enough, better to
stay calm. Now I go to sleep, I hope to see you soon. A very strong
embrace.
Nov 11 2007
I woke not long ago. Yesterday I saw my father, uncle Giuseppe and
Mara. I am glad that my father is close to me and also uncle I didn't
expect that he would come, I was very pleased. I was given the clean
clothes, and I did not understand that outside there were all of my
party. All this gives me great strength. Instead I had information
that on the morning of Friday, when I was sleeping and Amanda went to
take a shower at her home, she had gone also with an Argentinian guy
... I suppose, in a laundry and that this here wedged in the washing
machine the clothes including the blue Nike shoes ...
All this makes me totally lose faith in Amanda after she continues to
lie ... I want to say, I don't know much, but although she doesn't
seem to me at all capable of killing, someone who can be capable of
telling lies to hide the fact that she's in rapport with people not
very recommendable. Indeed, I begin to think that she cheated on me
and he hid the impossible. But who doesn't cheat, I am sincere and
won't ever do such a thing because I won't lower myself to a certain
pettiness; if I am with a person who says they like me and I don want
to go on, I change. There is no need of escapades, I do not like to
lie, either to myself or to others.
I made friends with a nice Romanian that helped me the first day
insofar as I had no soap, bags for the garbage, etc.. A good guy, I
would say, given the helpfulness. Then I hear that he tried to do a
robbery and had a turn of prostitution. And I ponder how a man can do
certain absurd crap and maybe change, perhaps, I hope. Then the other
day a guard, while attending me in my cell, asked me, "Do you like
life in prison?". And I turn with anger in my heart, which I don't
show if not with my look, and in my mind I thought: 'This guy wants to
take me for the (fondelli??). Therefore I respond "yes, of course, c.
..!!!» to tell him to quit it. But he remains silent, and then he
tells me: 'So for you it's not bad, the life here. And I: 'Look I
intended the contrary. But you really would like to say that there
exists someone who likes life in prison? ". And he "Yes, certainly.
At that point all my thoughts and certainties collapse like a pyramid
of cards made badly and I it comes to mind that there exist people who
don't have even a house and food. And the response "But you mean
people who don't have a house? And he: "Yes". And I: "Excuse me
greatly" And he: "No, I appeared, it is I who didn't explain myself
well, I didn't want to taunt you.
This brief discussion opened my eyes. I used to habitually always have
a clean house, the heater so hot when it's cold, a warm bed, a
fabulous car, eating the best of the best, have the highest
performance computer on the market and a family that loves me ...There
are people who have nothing. And a filthy foam bed of sponge messy, a
tiny bathroom with the smallest amount of hot water, a heater that
works only a few hours a day, two blankets, a television of 13'' and
something to eat, it may be true gold that cola...
I sought and seek to return my life to that which was given to me, but
I realize that it is never enough and I still have to work hard to do
something for others and for myself. For the moment I pass the time
trying to talk to doctors, psychologists, educators, guards, captains,
even with the psychiatrist (not a bad sort) and I then watch
television and write, I want to start reading ... I want a computer
...if only ... The maximum would be a portable playstation or nintendo
... Yeah, sure, if I'm allowed to use a thing of its kind in prison
would say that Italy is the fruit!
Those days, I was very anxious and nervous, but to see my father who
tells me "don't worry yourself, we'll pull you out" makes me stay
better. My real concerns now are two: one derives from the fact that
if Amanda that night remained all night with me could (and is an
extremely remote possibility) to have made love the whole evening and
night only stopping to eat ... A fine mess because there are no links
to other servers in those hours on my computer ... The second is that
Amanda stole the knife from me to give to the son of a **** that
killed Meredith ... This hypothesis is a bit of science fiction, but
possible, ...therefore I am troubled. They say that on the knife there
are no traces of blood, so I am much more relaxed ... I cannot wait
for the scientific results from Rome.
Nov 12 2007
The facts are taking their course and slowly I am realizing that
according to the fact which you, dad, that night sent me a message of
'goodnight' and also for the fact that the first statement made by me
saying that Amanda was all the night with me, I must say that 90% I
said the fat cavolata [cavolo = cabbage... garbage/crap?] in my second
statement. And that is:
1 that Amanda brought me to say something stupid and I have repeated
that over and over again in the court of the squadra mobile;
2 reconstructing I am realizing that Amanda was actually very likely
with me all night, never leaving. And I certainly wouldn't mind to
help in the investigation and put freely in all the troubles. Indeed,
for me it would be fabulous if Amanda had done nothing, as it becomes
impossible to find whatever trace on my shoes and my knife and this
story will have a happy ending for me and for you ...
You say that it is not a happy ending for Meredith. But in these
moments it comes to me to be a little selfish insofar as, the mistake
isn't mine, but the problem is that they still haven't found a
solution to the case ... I'm accountable that if we all ended up in
jail it is also the fault of my light regard to the facts of that
evening and also that we smoked (Amanda and I) several joints. And I'm
so sorry. As soon as I'm out I want to make my biggest apologies
cordially to the parents of Amanda, who are totally destroyed and
devastated. I'm sorriest for all that , forgive me papà and forgive me
Vanessa, I have lived with extreme lightness a situation that I could
not believe real, I would have never believed and I can't forgive
myself for that.
I am trying to kill time and in the meanwhile I hear the voices and
shouts of jailbirds playing pinball, I suppose, although I have never
seen. I listen and think, I think deeply of all that has happened to
me and around me ... My brain these days seems to me an unstoppable
machine that seeks to reconnect and imagine ... Then I stop myself to
not go crazy and I think of my friends who are out there and of what
they think ...
I think my brothers from Giovinazzo (giovinezza means youth or boyhood
but this is capitalized so I believe it's the name of a school?) who
will worry and I think of Vito ... who will be suffering greatly, I
think then of the friends from college who will be thinking "that
crazy has fixed himself in an absurd story" I think of my companions
from university, Tozzo, Urte, Riccardo, Lucio, in particular the first
two will say "who knows what he will say to recover in a mess like
that.
I think of my companions from training who will all be upset ... I
think and feel I'm in fault ... I am paying for my superficiality.
This time will mean that I will pay in full.
Nov 13 2007
Today is Tuesday and I saw dad and Mara. You, big sister, I know you
are having a few export problems with export I am truly very sorry.
Meanwhile today I was marked by the fact that I have so many friends
who are all with me. I am flattered and above all feel in my heart
that my brothers are with me more than anyone else. I have an immense
fortune to have friends who are brothers like them. I think first of
all to you, Francè, I knew that you have declared that you are my
brother and I want to tell you that I feel what you try and what they
try also the others: Corrado, Raffaele, Xavier, Gianfranco (vabbè, he
I imagine quite passive as always), Marian (who is in Shanghai), Milko
(who certainly will be thinking that certain things only happen to
me), Claudia, Valeria (don't think that your life is less interesting
than mine that only I return cast a headline that you faint) ... But
what is it? I said something wrong? Want to analyze my attitude
criminal by this sentence?
FATEVI UN CLISTERE!!!
Enough! You have turned on my blog like a sock for nothing!
I say...I think of Paolo who is in Milan to think who knows what
happens and he stays, rather, he is already graduated. I want to be so
too, Paolo, and celebrate with you these idyllic moments. I also Erica
'little crispy' and Francesca my joy, Clelia and all Piazza Porta. The
magnum of Piazza Porta ... I think of Angela, Micaela, Annamaria and
all my companions from middle and high school, all shocked. I think
also that Ana and Marta who are dying of heartbreak poor girls and
also of Fabri, Fili, Boc, Veronica, Valentina, Chiara 1, Clare 2, the
mythical Pasquale (don't unpack yourself too much, see what happens),
Guido of Roma, Guido of Pisa (this time they put me in a cage),
Robertino, Alessandra, Enrico and our aerospace engineer) and all of
the friends from Erasmus (another place?) who have seen and are my
neighbors, who have known me and know that a characteristic of mine,
which some time can be a fault, is my total inability to do evil.
And it is precisely here that are created the various levels of my
personality, that tries in every way to defend carrying a knife in his
pocket and sacrificing so many years to learn and risk in a sport like
kickboxing. My personality is a combination of many weights and
measures adopted to find tranquility and peace in everyday life made
of small battles and conquests. These days, and even weeks ago, I
realized that the continued closeness to Amanda is the ...prison they
have made me lose totally my daily dedication to prayer, which,
although I did them sometimes in this period, it wasn't so ... as
usual ... The problem is not that I've lost faith, but that one ... of
facts and changes have taken assault on my life and I found myself
totally unprepared and lost in a context that I believe outside of
reality.
The reality is that my life now is changed forever and there is no way
to go back: I can only pick up the lost pieces, reattach them and make
a puzzle ... At heart, not all the evil come to harm, we must collect
the good parts from each thing otherwise to live becomes impossible.
Nov 16 2007
Last night I saw on television that the knife that I had at home (the
one from the kitchen) has traces of Meredith and Amanda (latent) ...
my heart jumped in my throat and I was in total panic because I
thought that Amanda had killed Meredith or had helped someone in the
enterprise. But today I saw Tiziano who calmed me down: he told me
that the knife could not have been the murder weapon, according to the
legal doctor, and has nothing to do with anything as Amanda could take
it and and carry it from my house to her house because the girls
didn't have knife so, they are making a smokescreen for nothing ... I
live in a reality show nightmare, the 'nightmare reality show'.
Unbelievable!
I am starting to have perpetual panic attacks and palpitations due to
...in the anticipation of these scientific tests that fire shots
unsettling of this sort... Oh God, it is not their fault but of the...
who take everything that they can involve in this story.
I want to think about other things, think of my friends who are close
to me and think of fathers in these moments that will stay very badly
and will be worried and I am very sorry. I do not know what to do.
Please Jesus give me the strength and reason to deal with this
situation and I pray to support also dad who is sustaining an absurd
situation.
Nov 18 2007
they are keeping me in jail because there is a kitchen knife with a
trace of Meredith's DNA. It seems like a horror movie ... Looking back
and remembering it came to mind that the night dad sent me an sms
message of goodnight to be indiscreet (knowing that I was with
Amanda), then the day after Amanda repeated to me that if she had not
been with me at this time she would be dead. Thinking and
reconstructing, it seems to me that she always remained with me, the
only thing I do not remember exactly is when she left in the early
evening for a few minutes.
I am convinced that she could not have killed Meredith and then return
home. The fact that there is Meredith's DNA on the kitchen is because
once while cooking together, I shifted myself in the house handling
the knife, I had the point on her hand, and immediately after I
apologized but she had nothing done to her. So the only real
explanation of the kitchen knife is this.
I am not quiet because if they have found a trace so ridiculous they
can find many so many others on the rags and so on ... What a
nightmare! They should first of all show that the knife is indeed the
weapon of the crime: knife, type of cut, the obvious traces on the
blade, etc.. Then if they want to find invisible traces of Meredith in
my house, find some in the streams of this passage! There must be a
divine justice to all this! I continue to wake up in the morning with
accusatory faces that fix me as a murderer ...
What an absurd story, all ready to point the finger when nothing is
known yet. I hope that my father is well, and also all those who watch
this absurd event. I hope the real truth comes to surface. None of the
three enters! I have read in the newspapers that this story is taking
an enormous media dimension and all that scares me a lot, because if
they don't have the hit act it becomes impossible to calm them ... The
delusion of the mass, the money will be payed back to Patrick, to me
and to Amanda ...
Oh God, oh God, what a mess! They don't understand anything! Who and
what have stuck me in this story? Somewhat I have put of my own, but
now it is too much.
They call me to the infirmary and I read on the record that they
diagnosed me a few days ago for panic attacks and I had to be
reviewed. Both Amanda and Patrick are calm, and so this reassures me:
if neither of the two had done anything I figured! So we must have
patience. I am very pleased to talk with the (female) doctors (some
job titles are neutral, this one isn't) or social workers or the
pastor or (female) psychologist, they are very friendly and willing to
talk, it comforts me a lot. I am not liked to talk with the deputy
commander because he continues to investigate and to show me what can
happen if I don't tell the truth. We do not talk anymore.
I continue to watch TV and the morning, when I wake up, do exercises
to keep in shape. What else can I do? ... I write ... There is a girl
in France who has killed a guy she knew one evening inspired by the
tragedy of Perugia: The girl is crazy. We are all mad! Here it seems
to me I live in a comedy-reality-horror-show blowout by Big Brother.
That is the worst of the worst! The guards are kind, at least some,
not all, already it is impossible to change the minds of everyone ...
Nov 19 2007
Today I did exercises as always, I keep it in shape for not
accasciarmi and smollarmi physically; already food sucks and I am
losing a little appetite, but I hope that the truth will soon become
clear, and I could leave the prison. I spoke with a trainee (female)
teacher and there was nothing wrong. Maybe I should not think that
they are accusing me of being an accomplice to ****+murder ...But to
something cute I have to also think, sorry! She has a beautiful smile
with curly blond hair, I was very pleased that she smiled at every
joke that I made.
I seemed to receive a gust of spring air in a huge room dark and cold.
Already the prison is not a nice experience, above all because the
first times they slam me in cell isolation closed and locked with a
thread of light that passed through the window, for hours without
having the slightest sign that anyone could know that you are there,
not a sound, not a hiss, just the squeak of your shoes on a floor full
of dust and cockroaches and you that pass the time walking up and down
scared and you think, you think for so so long, you sit, look through
the cracks of the window and pray that the truth comes out, searching
to remember ...
They stuck me in prison because I do not remember exactly the events
of that day, I have confused memories. Meanwhile outside I watch the
clouds and begin to pretend to draw the sky looking for an answer to
me, this life, destiny, it seems all so mysterious, imperceptible,
like a point of light intense in a tunnel completely obscure... I
follow the light, the hope, no, that I won't lose ever; my life does
not end here; my destiny I follow until the bottom ... There's someone
that watches me and moves the threads of a destiny determined by my
choices.
There's mama, there's Jesus; what a crazy world here on earth, what
say you Jesus? You have been crucified because you have done a lot
more than what you had to for others, well, you know how I think?
Better to give a little less but survive... Excuse me for you the
speech is different seen that you saved us from sin, but sometimes I
wonder if it was worth it. I have received letters from Corrado and
family and it was made me very happy also another from Mimmo and
Paola. They support me very closely, I am very happy. Now all the
inmates greet me with a smile, I do not know whether it is because
they have realized that I have not done anything or because I have
their confidence.
Nov 20 2007
(Raffaele opens the page diary on November 20 with a conviction for
him decisive) today finally they have taken the real murderer of this
story from beyond belief. It is an Ivorian of 22 years, they have
found him in Germany. Papa I saw happy and smiling, but I for the
moment am not calm 100% because I fear that he will invent strange
things. There is the cook of the canteen who is black and kindly asked
me why I am not released. Well the reason is simple: there are my
footprints by the house and therefore from this story can always get
out coups de theatre: don't support them! Like Meredith's DNA on the
kitchen knife from my house. It comes to me, the tachicardia (medical
condition, heart beating too fast) and I remain unwell. It makes me
happy that I have many supporters everywhere. I await with patience my
future; at times it frightens me, we know who could really expect
anything. Life is a road long and dark , but I haven't lost hope.
After the storm there is the rainbow. Strength Raf! One of the
giovinazzesi; one of them, one of them!
Nov 23 2007
Today I have changed cells. I spent a lot of time cleaning from top to
bottom and I am also a bit nauseous from the conditions in which they
had left it. I re-encountered the policeman that I had that
conversation about whether I liked life in prison and we joked a bit
on the fact that there are peepholes of cells that have a cover and I
wondered why. Then he with air of the series "Who if is ever asked,"
he tells me: "I don't have a faint idea; that I don't cheat!" (that
section I didn't get...)
And I think there a bit and find the solution! They don't want other
inmates passing looking through the peephole. Consequently I tell him
smiling: "Could it be that I have to tell you something useful?". He:
"I do not care at all." Meanwhile I ask him: "If you tell me your name
to quote you, as I have already talked of our discussion and become
famous". He "No, absolutely no interest to me really, "you don't hold
us". And I kept thinking: 'Well, in fact, if I become famous it is not
for a likeable deed, on the contrary, a tragedy and that is very sad.
Already in order to be famous? All look at you and judge you and turn
your life like a sock ass backwards and they even accuse you if you
breathe too slowly. Better give up, do not look to the success, money,
but spend a quiet life without stress and suffering, to me it applies
not just punishment.